oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize