Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
