happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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