Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
