You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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