I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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