omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
