Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
What drink are we having for lunch?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize