Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
