ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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