have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
