Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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