worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
