her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
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