Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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