Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
