Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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