If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
