Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
