Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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