It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
