he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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