You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
