it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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