Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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