But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
