hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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