You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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