i would punch a child for taco bell
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize