do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What happened to fro yo and sex?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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