You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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