its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize