I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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