I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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