so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Someone signed my nipple.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
