We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
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Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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