ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
