Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
