so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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