Do you still have your period?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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