Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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