i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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