Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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