Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Shame is for Republicans.
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