Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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