Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
