It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
