My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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