im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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