I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
