I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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