Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
