Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
