i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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