The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
