she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
