Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
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It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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